I felt depressed at the thought of a society that refuses to bless a widow. I then understood why my mother avoided seeking the blessings of elders after my dad died. I did not for a moment suspect that it was not permitted by society since the usual blessing deergha sumangali bhava (may you remain a sumangali for ever) did not apply to her. I had always thought that my mother had refrained from seeking the blessings of elders purely out of choice for whatever reason. This incident was reported to me by my mother herself. She had put them in a predicament since they were at a loss for words to bless her. I got an answer to my question much later.Ī relative of ours, in her naivete, had supposedly sought the blessings of an elderly couple who visited her to condole her husband s death. I strongly felt that not only my mother – who had the support of my grandfather and maternal uncle but other widows who neither had the means nor money would benefit by the blessings and good will of those around them. To my mind she needed the support and good will of society much more than any one who had a husband s support. She had just turned 40 and had to raise 5 children none settled and the youngest was only three years old. Come to think of it both versions directly or indirectly implied that a man needed to live long since a woman s happiness depended on it.Įver since my father passed away I noticed that my mother stopped seeking the blessings of elders in the family including my grandfather. Another blessing accorded to married women was Deergha Sumangali Bhava (may you remain a sumangali for ever) and to married men it would be Aayushman Bhava (May you be blessed with long life). Somehow one felt that a girl s happiness depended on the kind of husband she got married to, which was not wrong because some 50 years back – the career of girls was not given serious consideration the way it is today. Boys would be blessed with the usual May you do well in life or may you have a great career. The usual blessings given to us girls would be May you get a good husband.
When I was growing up it was customary for us seek the blessings of elders by prostrating at their feet.
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